The Blaine Diaries
by The Sparkly Blue Unicorn
Summary: This is Blaine's reaction and thoughts to transferring schools, overcoming bullying, joining the Warblers and a whole bunch of other stuff too. Following Blaine's story arc on the show.


The Blaine Diaries

Chapter 1 – Blaine Starts at Dalton Academy

**Sunday Night**

Well where do I start, at the beginning might be helpful. I've never kept a diary before so this could be a bit shaky to start. Firstly I'm starting a new school tomorrow. It's a private all boys school called Dalton Academy. I'm scared senseless. A gay guy starting an all-boys school sounds like a disaster. It's almost as if Dad wants me to get beaten up again. He said Dalton has a zero-tolerance for any kind of bullying but my last school was supposed to have that too. The faculty just thought that because I was gay I brought it on myself.

Sorry diary, I'm getting angry again. It just pisses me off because nobody seems to want to help. Cooper's always away doing some acting thing and Dad argues with Mom constantly because he has 2 sons and none of them want a 'proper career'. By that he means he's mad because we didn't want to be accountants like him. I told him I wanted to make music, at least my Mom believes in me. She tries to help me, when Dad lets her.

So Dalton… we went for a look around it looks like Hogwarts which excited me. They have a glee club called The Warblers. I met two of them when I went for a visit. One was called Nick and the other was Jeff. They seemed really nice; they're going to be my buddies until I get settled in. The school has a kind of mentoring system. I really want to join the Warblers too, Nick and Jeff are both Warblers, it's ran by a kind of council and you have to audition so who knows what will happen, they might not even like me, if I even get to audition.

The Dalton uniform is nice, it's quite dapper. There's no bowtie though I have to wear a normal tie. It's still awesome though, if everyone's dressed the same maybe no one will tease me about what I wear. I'm so scared of being bullied; I don't even know whether it's going to be ok to be out of the closet there. Do I pretend to be straight? I know I shouldn't ever lie to myself or be someone I'm not but being myself just landed me in the hospital for 2 weeks. Maybe I will just see how tomorrow goes first. I know I'm putting too much pressure on myself and getting too anxious about this, Mom said this might calm me down but it's not. I guess it feels like I have someone to talk to but what I really need is a friend. A real person, someone I can actually speak to or hang out with sometimes. I'm so lonely; music is my only escape sometimes. It's late so I'm going to sleep now, goodnight diary.

**Monday Night**

Well today was my first day and it was pretty cool. No one teased me about anything in fact it was completely the opposite! Everyone I talked to was nice to me. Nick and Jeff are really cool, they've been friends since Kindergarten how cool is that? I haven't even been friends with anyone since last week. I'm excited that this might be where I get to turn around and be happy, because right now I'm miserable as hell and it sucks. I didn't tell anyone I was gay today. I didn't know how people might take it, Nick and Jeff are both straight they have girlfriends and usually go on double dates.

When I said Dalton was like Hogwarts I wasn't kidding either, I mean the staircases don't move and pictures don't ask for passwords but it's like a maze. No wonder Dalton has the mentoring program, anyone would get lost in that place if they were left to themselves. They classes are ok, more advanced than what I am used to but I don't mind. In fact it's better than at my old school where the work was too easy for me. People asked about my old school about why I left, I think Nick told people to stop asking though. As my buddies him and Jeff know the real reason I left but no one else does and I don't want people to either, they might think I'm weak or that I'm an easy target. I'm not, at least I don't think I am.

I had an idea at school today; I am going to take up boxing. You should have seen my Dad he was really excited when I told him. He thinks it'll make me straight; I'm just humouring him for the moment because he's going to get me lessons and install a punch bag in the garage for me. I don't want what happened at the Sadie Hawkins Dance to ever happen to me again. I want to be able to defend myself.

**Tuesday**

Today was pretty cool. Just a regular day really, I didn't feel as nervous about going to school today. I spoke to Nick about joining the Warblers, he said I have to be invited to audition but that him and Jeff are pretty good friends with Wes who is on the council. They gave a performance today, it was electric. The vocal harmonies and the way they are all such good friends is so amazing. Nick asked if I could sing, he came around here after school with Jeff and we all hung out for a while. I played him a song I'd written on my guitar. Nick said he was blown away, I'm not sure if he was just trying to make me feel better though. At least he is going to try to get me an audition with the Warblers.

I told my Dad about the Warblers, he isn't happy. He's still going to get me boxing lessons though. He is under the impression they still might make me straight. He even went and bought a car for us to work on so he can teach me mechanics. I don't know why he can't just love me for who I am. I keep telling him I didn't choose to be gay. This morning at breakfast he even implied it was my fault I got beaten up for being "out" as he said. I've never seen my mom be as mad at him as she was then. It was awful, well diary I have a ton of homework already so this is it for tonight.

**Wednesday**

Today was the best day I have had in ages. Nick actually got me an audition with the Warblers. They said they hold auditions usually twice a year and Friday is the last time for this year. He said a lot of people usually audition but he's going to help me practise and he thinks I should sing my original song. I'm scared that the council might not like it as much as Nick did but he asked me to trust him. I'm trying to trust him but after all the bullying it's hard to think that people would be nice to me; I'm always paranoid that secretly they're laughing behind my back.

Dad told me tonight he's booked some boxing classes for me too. He told me he was paying a lot for them so I'd better take it seriously. I don't think he knows how serious I am about this; I'm still having nightmares about what happened after the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Mom suggested therapy, I told her no, that I was just getting settled into school again and that I'd be fine. I don't think she bought it but I don't care.

I think I'm officially back in the closet again too, at least as far as school goes. One guy asked if I had a girlfriend today, I just told him no but it really shook me up. Nick and Jeff looked concerned too. I know he could have just been making conversation but I'm so on edge all the time lately I just feel like I don't know who I am anymore. That upsets me a lot too, I was proud of who I was, I used to try not to let the bullies win but they did.

**Thursday**

The weirdest thing happened today.

I was sitting in History class with Nick and Jeff and someone came in talking about some guys who had been beaten up. I started to panic and then he said McKinley High I was so relieved. It turned out he was talking about someone on their football team who'd gotten into a fight with someone and almost gotten sent to a Juvenille Detention Center for it. I don't know if anyone saw but Nick spent the rest of the day looking at me weirdly.

Speaking of Nick he just left, we've been practising for my audition. He really wants me to sing my original song, he said Wes is excited to hear it, apparently Nick was telling him about it. This is so unusual to me, people normally just make fun of my music but I think Nick does actually like it. I'm so scared to sing in front of all the Warblers tomorrow. Nick said that the Warblers are really against bullying so no one will give me any trouble. I was choked up with tears when he said that. I'm glad I didn't cry though, I don't want him to think I'm weak.

Wow ok that sounded like my dad talking, that was scary! So tomorrow when I talk to you I will be able to tell you how my Warblers Audition went and hopefully tell you if I got in or not. Right now though I have to write an Physics essay that is going to make my brain hurt. Goodnight Diary.

**Friday**

I GOT IN! I am in the Warblers!

I was so scared this morning by the time it got to the audition I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. There were about 12 people all outside the Warblers practice room. I was stood there with my guitar and this other boy came up to me and asked if I was ok. I just nodded, he smiled and asked if it was my first time auditioning. I managed to speak enough to answer yes and tell him my name was Blaine and he introduced himself as Trent. He said some of the people auditioning had tried as much as 4 times to get into the Warblers. He knows a lot about the Warblers but he said his older brother was a Warbler when he'd come to school at Dalton.

We chatted for a while before our auditions and then it was my turn. I went into the room and the Warblers had rearranged the furniture, there were three people at the council desk and the rest of the Warblers were stood behind them. I introduced myself and told them what I'd be singing, I tried to imagine this was just another practice with Nick in my bedroom. I started to play and I saw Nick and Jeff smiling at me. In that moment I swear it all fell into place I felt right at home and I started to sing. When I finished I could tell everyone was stunned, I wondered if I'd done the wrong thing singing my own song. Afterwards we had to wait outside until the Warblers had made a decision but it didn't seem like five minutes and they asked me, Trent and two other boys to go back in. That's when they told us the good news. Trent hugged me and I was just so pleased Nick and Jeff came over to congratulate me and hugged me too. I felt the happiest I have felt in weeks, we all went for coffee at The Lima Bean. If anyone told me I'd be this happy after just my first week at my new school I'd have laughed at them, but here I am and I like it. I'm still not going to tell them I'm gay because I don't want to give them a reason to change their minds about me.


End file.
